once again

Once again the realization of deployment is bothering me. Tonight we have a meeting to get things around for wills and POA. that is crazy that we are already thinking about this once December is over it is all down hill from there. Everyone is leaving 29 and I am stranded here. I DO NOT want to go home, like I have said before I hate home so I am not going back there. I am just so scared that something will happen to him this time. Last time I was is denial that it could happen, but some things have changed (OSPEC- not going into detail) and is job could be even more dangerous than before. What do I do, sometimes I am scared and other times sad. It is just crazy to think deployment is right around the corner. I really signed up for a life or this? him coming and going all the time and living in fear every single day. Wow. I don't regret marrying him at all and I am proud of him as a marine, but this is just a crazy realization I have am going to face. Just me and the dog for 7 months. wow, Lord please help me.